Saturday, February 19, 2011

A lot of things on my mind tonight.

Recently I found my old creative writing journal. I looked through it and a lot of things came back to me. I felt some things I haven't felt in a really long time. I was anxious about things that I shouldn't be worried about. And since then, I've had the urge to write. The only thing is, that when I'm up during the day, I don't want to. The only time I really want to write is when I'm in bed. Kevin's already sleeping and I'm just laying there, thinking about anything and everything. I think I'm going to start writing. I never did before because I felt as though it would be something I would need to do everyday, but I know I don't have to write everyday. I can write whenever I feel like writing. A lot of people would say that writing this blog is like keeping a journal, but it isn't. I want something that only I look at. To my knowledge, only two people have read what is in my creative writing journal, me and Miss. Stillson. And I like that. She wasn't reading it to judge, or grade, but to listen and learn about me. And because of that, I was honest. I wrote what I felt and wasn't worried about what she would think. I like sharing things with the few who read this, but I also like some privacy. There are some things I can't say on Facebook or Twitter. There are some things I can't say on here, but that doesn't mean I don't want to say them. I don't know. I guess that I just need to start doing this for me. Maybe it will help me sleep instead of sitting up thinking about what I could be writing.

Now on another note, I read a blog of a friend today. He had a post titled "Time" and he was talking about how when time moves slowly, we want it to go faster, and when time moves fast, we want it to slow down. He said something about how he needed more time, or he didn't have enough. It got me thinking about time and how we all use ours. I know that we all ask for more, or less depending on the situation, and that it definitely moves at different rates. But him saying that he didn't have enough time stood out to me. I think that we always have the same amount of time, I mean obviously we do, but I mean that whether it's going fast or slow really depends on us. We decide how to use our time, whether to stay busy or to slow down ourselves. I think that when time seems to be moving quickly, you should just stop for a minute or two and do something relaxing, something that isn't rushed. When I worked at Ponderosa and things started getting hectic, I would take a bathroom break. They couldn't tell you that you couldn't go pee. Usually I didn't have to even go to the bathroom, it just became exhausting. I would go in there and just breath. I would clear my mind and relax. Then, when I would go back out there, it seemed a lot easier. I could think faster and be more friendly. I think that everyone should make time for themselves when things are going to fast. Even if it is just a bathroom break.

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