Wednesday, November 17, 2010

I think...

I think I want to write a book. Maybe not right now, but at some point in my life. I have enough crazy people in my life to come up with amazing characters, but the only problem is the plot line. I want something different. I want people to read my book and feel something powerful, magical, different. I don't want to write for the money, I want to write so people know what I'm thinking, so people know they aren't alone in certain situations. I want to write to prove to myself that I can. I've thought about it for awhile, I just don't know when to start. How to start. I don't want to fail. Someday maybe I'll write a book.

I think I want to be a singer. I probably won't write the songs, but I could sing them. I can do it. If Justin Beiber and Miley Cyrus can be singers, then so can I. If every teenage disney star can have a clothing line, tv show, and sing, then I can sing too. I don't have a bad voice, I have nerves. I can't sing in front of people. I don't like being judged, and that's what people do when you sing. They criticize and complain. I don't think I could handle that. I'm never gonna be a singer.

I think I want to be an actress. All that fame and influence. The beauty and praise. The opportunities. The fun. I could make a difference. I could do anything. I could travel. I could pay off school. I could help my parents. I could help my sisters. I could do anything. I could become a new person, look at things different. Put my past behind me and focus on my life. Someday I might be an actress.

I think I want to be a teacher. To spend all day with energetic, eager kids. To teach them not only math and English, but how to be themselves, the things that matter, to mold their minds into fascinating pieces of society. One of my students could become a millionaire, CEO of a huge company, a forensic scientist, a writer, a singer, an actress. One of my students could become a teacher, policeman, social worker, doctor, lawyer, brain surgeon, chemist, rocket scientist. And I would be part of that. I would have taught the man that pulled the baby from a burning building, the woman that took that child in when she had nowhere else to go. I would be part of history. And it doesn't matter if I don't get credit, because I'll know. I'll feel that magic. I'll be happy. Someday I'm going to be a part of history. Someday, I'm going to be a teacher.

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